Leadership CPR

My journey has been the story of a knight in search of a king. In the military I experienced "leadership" by power and authority and promotions by favorites and favoritism; in transportation and healthcare I've experienced micromanagement that implied that workers are incompetent and untrustworthy.

When I became a contractor I became a manager myself, and repeated the micromanagement and heavy hand of authority that I had experienced. And from a position of authority I experienced the plight of many managers: the declining morale of employees, and then less engagement and increased complacency, and finally turnover when they quit because "I hate this place!" or I fired them for behaviors that, ultimately, I had contributed to.

Because I wanted to grow my company, I had to begin to develop other leaders. I learned that in order to develop leaders around me I first had to develop the leader inside me.

That began my journey into leadership and personal development.

When I sold that contracting business and became a Paramedic, and now as an RN, I continue to study, learn, and apply leadership principles. Growing my ability to effectively lead myself and practice 360* influence at home, at work, and in my other important relationships has transformed the way that I interact with others and my own satisfaction when I look in the mirror.

In 2007 we adopted a young boy. I spent all my teenage years in various foster placements and was married for years before I unpacked my shower bag. We adopted a boy who had experienced even more trauma than I had grown up with...and I was now expected to be his dad. In the Bible we're taught that God is a "good father" and that we are "adopted as sons and daughters." My whole life, I've recoiled against those "don't that sound good...for someone else" fantasies.

Adoption has changed...ME. Being in foster care affected me, and some of those places impacted me. Adoption CHANGED me. I have a very different understanding of those precepts in the Bible than I used to have.

The night that I stood down a car-load of angry gang members in inner-city Seattle who had been threatening to shoot me, that was my first experience in using communication to influence outcomes instead of power, position, and authority. Alone, exposed, effectively unarmed, and with no safe way of escape, creating cooperation was the only solution available to me.

I was 24 when I was first time I looked at the bullet inside the gun, the first time I was suicidal. The last time I had created a plan was in 2021. I worked with suicidal patients in the ER and psych units, while no one knew that I was keeping track of the days until it was time to "execute my plan." Suicidal ideation is not a thing one "gets over," like a job I applied for and didn't get or a girl I had wanted to date who rejected me or a car I tried to buy and someone got there first. Suicidal ideation is Brer Rabbit's tar baby, and it is hard to get through. My story of defeating suicidal ideation is Choosing To See Through Suicide To Hope, because to get past those oppressive thoughts one has to make a conscious, intentional decision to boldly look THROUGH the despair and purposefully develop hope on the other side.

I share principles of self-development, leadership, and communication using stories, examples, and metaphors to CONNECT with others and be the catalyst for transformation that is relatable and immediately applicable and actionable.