Shattering the Silence

I tell my story of a male teacher raping me when I was a teenager, how shame motivated me to keep this secret from everyone for over 17 years. As a service member with 27 years of experience, I have experienced masculinity toxicity and how it plays a heavy role in our societal biases and mental model of how we view male rape victims.
I discuss moral courage; how we often praise it as righteous, yet it is a rare trait. Survivors speak up against their attackers, only for society to ostracize or victim blame which sets a terrible precedence for others to do the same because they are afraid of the consequences and their livelihood. They would rather suffer in silence than to be publicly shamed.
Our culture plays a significant role in what we think a “real man” should be, they should be stoic and strong, or we consider them weak. This type of upbringing teaches our boys to keep their emotions inside, even after a tragic event such as rape. They turn to drugs, alcohol, or other forms of self-destruction since they do not know how to regulate their emotions and feelings.
My talk end with the suicide of a former soldier who, through initiations and hazing, had teammates sodomized him in his first unit. He kept the secret for two decades as the shame internally tore him apart. He was not a man through his perspective and could never live up to what a man should be. He ended his life inside a behavioral health facility, the safest place he could have been, because he could no longer bear the pain after so long.

Learning Objectives
1. Learn how our societal paradigms and biases affect the way we think about male-on-male sexual assault.
2. Identify and avoid logic fallacies and mental models that impede our perceptions of rape culture and suicide.
3. Discover the relationship between physical and moral courage along with the influence of organizational culture and climate on moral courage.

A retired United States Army Combat Medic, Aaron completed multiple tours in Iraq, Afghanistan, and Bosnia; none of those experiences affected him as much as the trauma he suffered at age 15 at the hands of a male teacher who methodically groomed and raped him.
For almost two decades he became a silent sufferer of depression and PTSD. Thankfully, he finally realized he needed help and, for the first time in his life, he told his story.
It was an act of liberation.

He has spoken to numerous military organizations and universities spreading his message of pain, redemption, and hope. His goal is to be an inspiration for those who may be suffering through the same mental anguish as he once did. He reassures survivors that sexual assault is never their fault, they are never alone, and help is here.

Audio requirements include a quality sound system which has been tested for proper operation along with, if possible, a screen for slides. Microphone preferences are a lapel or a cordless, handheld microphone if available. If not, the microphone should allow for at least 30 feet of cord.

Please sit audience directly in front of Aaron in a theater style setting. No seating behind or to the sides of Aaron while he speaks.

The audience should be seated as close to the stage as possible.