Hello, My name is Rick Rome and regularly perform at The Improv's, Icehouse, Ha Ha Cafe and Comedy Store. My television credits include Laff it off with Grace, KC Armstrong's Uncensored Television, Comedy Time and Nuvo TV.
I have been performing Stand Up since September of 1999 and currently run the second longest running bar gig for the past 8 years at Liam's Irish Pub. I host this show every Tuesday and write new jokes for every show because the same patrons come back every week.
You can Catch Rick Rome every Monday at The Office in SanBernardino, every Tuesday in Colton, every other Wednesday in Highland.
Price Range: Contact for rates
Gig Length: 20 - 60 minutes
Unions: Gut Busters
What to Expect
Rick Rome talks about the most embarrassing moments in his life, which pretty much relates to everyone. From his Ex Girlfriend breaking up with him, to go out with one of his co worker's to his current girlfriend examining the the bump growing in between his butt cheeks. Rick can tell clean jokes and dirty jokes. He also adds songs to his Stand up Comedy as a little icing on the cake. All in all, you will enjoy Rick Rome's point of view on the every day obstacles he faces.
So you wanna know more about Rick Rome. Well a long time ago in a Uterus far far away (Muscoy to be precise) lived a fetus anxious to pop out into the world. That fetus was me. When I came out of the womb, I was trying to tell jokes, but I couldn't figure out how to talk, so I cried and cried and cried. The only way to shut me up was to shove a booby in my face. Which still works to this very day.
I used to take the bus in Highschool. Kids on the bus would always try to bag (put me down jokingly) on me. They just didn't know, bagging on my friends was my hobby; I later found out it was just practice. It was a bagging session every day. I would piss kids off so much, they would go home, write new bags and try to get me the next day. I was winning every day, I felt like a king, but I still didn't know I was destined to be a Comic.
After Highschool I didn't know what I wanted, but what ever it was, it was gonna be funny. And when Karoke came out for the first time, that was my niche. I would go to Round Table every friday and sing my favorite songs with new dances I created week to week. People would come out on fridays just to see me sing. People would tell me I should be a Stand up Comic all the time. I would just chuckle and agree, but I didn't have the urge.
Finally in 1999 I decided to try Stand Up for the first time. The mother of my child and I had been broken up for 5 years. I tour into her at an open mic, the crowd was loving it, my soul felt cleansed and I felt like a movie star. I had the fever and never looked back. Stand up is a part of my life now and I'm never gonna give it up.
In 2004 I became a regular at The Laugh Factory. I remember that night all to well. It was my 30th birthday and we went to Miyagi's and sang Karoke. I sang The Greatest Love of All by Whitney Houston and a little man about 4 feet tall came up with a 40 ounce and was swaying his arms back and forth with me on the stage. This is also the night Sara and I became a couple.
Now I perform at many venues all over southern California. I am deathly afraid of flying, so I have regrettably have turned down some gigs that involve flying including the USO Tour. This is a fear I definitely need to conquer. I have been performing at The Improvs (Ontario, Irvine, Melrose and Brea) The Icehouse, The Comedy Store (La Jolla and Hollywood) The Laugh Factory, Flappers and The Ha Ha.
I also host the longest running Comedy rooms in the Inland Empire. Liam's Irish Pub hosts Ridiculous Tuesdays and has been for 8 years in May and The Green Frog will be 7 years in April. I provide compensation for Comedians.
I also theme the shows I run for the most part with the type of Comedy I provide for the audience. Hot Girls Tell Dirty Jokes (consist of beautiful female Comedians telling Dirty Jokes) IE's FunnIEst (consist of hilarious comedians with in the community, in this case the Inland Empire) The Anglo Saxon Attraction (consist of the most hilarious white Comics with a circus theme, the host dresses up like a ring leader) 420 Comedy Show (consist of 4 Comedians telling 20 minutes of hilarious jokes) and much more...
Additional Booking Notes
Promoter, Graphic Artist , Host and Comedian
Promoter – I have been promoting, booking and running Comedy Shows for over 15years. I use the internet and electronic fliers to promote. This past year I have made connections with KCAL and The Wedge Internet Radio, and I will be able to use these avenues as additional ways to promote my shows.
As a promoter I step outside of my own opinion and listen to what audience member’s want. I keep it all business, I don’t book friends, I book funny; If I were to book friends, they would have to change the terminology from Show Business to No Business. I also come up with fun themes for the name and feel of the show. In the 15 years I have been running shows, the following themes are the most popular; IE’s FunnIEst and Hot Girls Tell Dirty Jokes.
Graphic Artist – I design all flyers for every event that I host. I use pictures from facebook and crop out the comics for the flier. People remember faces easier than names. By using the comics face, I have found that audience members will come out if they recognize them on the flyer.
Host – I have hosted Stand Up Comedy for 8 years at Liam’s Irish Pub. Since I’ve been hosting Comedy, I’ve had to upscale my Stand up. Because we draw regular crowds at Liam’s and the other venues I run, I have to constantly write new material daily. The audience members appreciate that I bring new material to the table every week.
Comedian – I am a regular The Laugh Factory and regularly perform at The Icehouse, The Ha Ha Caf,The Comedy Store(La Jolla and Hollywood) and The Ontario, Irvine, Brea and Melrose Improv. In the 15 years I have performed I have befriended over 700 comedians and I book them on a regular basis. I have also appeared Laff it off with Grace and Stand Up and Deliver on Nuvo TV.
[ 09/99 – 11/00] Fanatics
This was a beer and wine bar that was located off of Kendall and University in San Bernardino. This was a three man show performed every Thursday. Each Comic did a half an hour of stage time. The flyer was printed with the words “Hecklers Welcome !!!” And they came. The purpose of this was to see if the comedians could handle a heckler. It worked and drew a huge crowd because of it; and the show was a success. We ended up leaving because the owner was trying to force us to work on Thanksgiving.
[ 11/00 – 08/07] The Wooden Nickel
The Wooden Nickel is a Double Wide Bar in San Bernardino. The Show ran every Saturday. The Nickel was a two man show and after we started getting booked at more shows, we had to do the Nickel once a month on Saturday. The show eventually stopped for couple of years, and started back upon popular request. The Show started it back up on Wednesdays. After a couple of years, we stopped the show do to running to many shows and The Nickel was getting rowdy. We are still in good with the owner and can start back up when ever we want.
[ 05/05 – current] Liam’s Irish Pub
This Irish Pub has been hosting stand up Comedy for almost 8 years. I book the shows and perform on them every week from 9:09pm to 2:00am on Tuesday nights. The show is called “Ridiculous Tuesdays”. Liam’s is known as the longest running bar show in the Inland Empire. Only one bar has hosted Comedy longer than Liam’s and that is The Westwood in LA, but that show has been ran by many different promoters. Liam’s has been booked and promoted by the same (link hidden)e show is so popular, when the electricity went out, the patrons brought a lantern and watched us perform with no mic. The bar tender served beer with a flashlight and a calculator. Our show ended at 2am. Zendeja’s was across the street with electricity and the patrons still stayed for camp out comedy.
[ 04/06 – current] The Green Frog
The Green Frog has been hosting Comedy for almost 7 years. My team and I started The Frog once a month for over 4 years. The past 3 years, we have been hosting Comedy at The Frog every other Wednesday. The name for the show is “Whip it Wednesdays”
[ 04/07 – 11/07] The Corner Pub
The Corner Pub in Upland called me and wanted me to host Comedy at their Pub until the owner sold the place. In the time she was trying to sell her Pub, we hosted 7 months of Stand Up Comedy every Monday.
[ 05/08 – 09/08] Raxx
Raxx hosted 4 months of extremely packed shows. This was beginning to be my favorite comedy spot. I hosted Comedy every Friday. The show was called, “Ridiculous Fridays” come out and laugh your Raxx off. The only reason this show was haulted, was because the owner lost the building.
[ 10/12 – current] The Marquis
The Marquis is a bar in San Bernardino that has made a deal to run 8 comedy shows for $100. After the 8th show, the price goes to $300. Our shows are loved by the patrons. We’ve had 2 light shows, but even though they were light, they were well remembered. My strategy is to let the patrons tell everyone how good the show is; you could have a packed show and no impact. And those are the shows that don’t last. The Marquis is hosted the last Saturday of the month.
[ 03/13 – current] The Office
The Office hosts Stand Up Comedy every Monday and has been since the beginning of March. This room gets more and more audience members every week. The owner is happier than she has ever been because of the turn outs.
• You know what's crazy?
• Every where I go people look at me, and then they look, and then they take a double look, and they be thinkin'
• Is that an Arab ?! and I know they're thinkin it, cuz I can hear them say it !!!
• Is that an Iraqi ?! One time at the grocery store, I could hear a little kid in the background, talkin bout, Is that Jafar from Aladdin ?!
• That's the whole reason I started Comedy.
• I didn't start comedy to be funny and make a lot of money.
• I started Comedy to explain. That's right !!!
• This is an announcement, a public service announcement.
• And the announcement is, I am not an Arab, I am an American Citizen.... I'm a mexican. I don't know what they talkin about.
• It's gotten so bad, I don't even wear shoe laces no mo'
• Cause they look too much like dynomite fuses.
• And I don't gotta go to the hospital to get my colon clensed.
• I can go to LAX for that, cost no money down, I don't need an insurance card.
• All it cost, is the low low price of wearing shoe laces.
• You can tell I'm mexican by the odd jobs I got.
• I own a lawn service, a push ice cream cart, a door to door tamale route.
• I do not own, a liquor store, with a gas station pump in the parking lot. That's not mine.
• It's hard enough bein' mexican, it's hard enough walking around bein' regular brown.
• Cuz when your mexican, you got to have all kinda identification on you at all times.
• When you're white, all you need is an American Express Card.
• Do you know what an Americn Express Card is to a mexican, it's a Green Card!!!
• Except our slogan goes, you will get sent home with out it.
• And I wanna talk to the black people.
• You're not the only people on the planet getting racially dicriminated, we get discriminated too.
• Think about it, we are the only people that got to deal with two different type of police.
• When we run, we run from the Black and Whites and the Green and Whites.
• Where is the justice? There is no justice for us!
• Yall got one police, we got two.
• And pretty soon mexicans ain't gonna be alloud on the planet earth no mo'
• we're gonna have to camp out on the moon.
• I looked it up, I looked it up !!! In the dictionary !!! I looked up the word Alien
• And it said, you could be a green mutha fucka, with tenticles, and suction cups, break through the atmosphere, crash into the United States of America, and you're an alien.
• But if I jump a fence, I'm an illeagle alien. What kinda shit is that !!! I'm from this planet mutha fucka.
• And not to long ago, they tried to pass a proposition, kickin mexicans out of California.
• And called it proposition 1-8-7.
• 1 ! 8 ! 7 ! Now, I aint the smartest man in the world. But isn't that the code for murder? What were they tryin to say?
• How would the White man like it, if we developed a proposition about them, kickin they asses back to anglo land. I mean England.
• And we called it proposition 666.
• Would you like it then mister white man. They wouldn't like it, and I didn't like it either.
• They said they came up with the proposition, cuz mexicans were takin' all the jobs.
• I wanna know, what jobs are we takin'? All the parking lot pillow jobs.
• All the offramp orange jobs, does anyone here, wanna be a weed wacker?
• And I remember when black people used to say, you aint never in your life gonna see a black president.
• And I felt like I could predict the future from way back when, cuz I used to tell my black friends, they'll be a black president before there is a mexican president of the United States of America.
• Cause we ain't even alive in Comic books. Ain't that a bitch, we don't exist in the relm of science fiction.
• We don't even play the victm, let alone the hero. Cuz think about it, there ain't know incredible cholo, breakin down walls.
• There ain't know wonder hina, spining around, blockin bullets with her tennis braclets.
• And there aint no super Vato flyin in and outta trees.
• Let me tell you why they aint gonna let a mexican be president !!!
• Cuz they know, they know the day a mexican becomes president, is the day mexico becomes a state.
• Shit, make me president, I'll make mexico two states.
• I'll split it up and call it east side and west side mexico.
• And I believe, we as Mexicans don't express ourselves enough, we need to express ourselves more often, so that people can better understand our culture.
• You see, we do things outta natural mexican instinct that a lot of people don't understand.
• It's kinda like a dog, a dog will burry a bone, but it don't know why it burry the bone, it just burry the bone, outta natural dog instinct.
• With us, when we burry people, at a funeral. We don't just have a funeral.
• I had a white guy come up to me the other day, and ask,"How come mexicans don't have just a funeral, why they got to have a car wash and then a funeral?"
• I know that's some fucked up shit to ask, but instead of getting angry I let hin know,"It's because the JC Penny's insurance don't cover the whole caskett mutha fucka. That's why !!! Now, do you want me to wash your car or what?!!"
• And we are creative people. We can take a beach cruiser, chrome it up, add harley davidson handle bars and call it an essay bike.
• Have you seen these razor retractractable scooters? They fold out like a blind mans walking stick.
• Well in my neighborhood, the little kids modified them. They fold out like butterfly knives.
• You could see the little kids on the street corner, talkin bout (act it out)
• Well, one day I was driving, and I pulled up to a stop light.
• And a mexican, pulled up right next to me, in the left lane.
• On a razor retractable scooter, like it was a car, but it was a scooter, in da street.
• It had an amp and a car stereo.
• And he was bumpin, Big Pimpin, on a scooter, in da street.
• I couldn't believe it, It had a chain steering wheel and rims.
• It had hydrolics, and he was hittin switches. On a scotter, in da street.
• When he was hittin' switches, it look like he was workin a bicycle pump. Talkin bout (Act out the switch hitten on the scooter)
• I couldn't believe it. On a scooter, in da street.
• He was makin a left turn. And I know he was makin a left, because his blinker was on.
• Then he started scootin slow, turned his music down, pulled a gun out his glove box and started cappin' at this house.
• I couldn't believe it. That was the first time I ever saw a drive by scootin'.
• Don't trust gangsta's on scooters, they'll shoot you up.
• Cause We are creative people, when it comes to bein' cheap.
• Think about it, why go to the grocery store, when you can just grow the grocery's at the house.
• And what food does mexicans like to plant the most?
• Corn ! Don't matter how much land we got either, could be a little patch of land, in the front yard, be a patch of corn stalks.
• I live in an apartment complex, on the second story, don't gotta yard or nothin like that, so I had to improvise.
• I got my corn stalks growing on the roof top.
• Didn't have no money for a scare crow, so I improvised once again.
• I gotta picture of my baby momma.
• Come to find out, it keeps out the crows, the catapillars, the locust, the fruit flies, hell I ain't been robbed in a couple of weeks.
• Ugly ass bitch, cheated on me with ugly ass dudes.
• She tried on more dicks than women have on shoes.
• I got her ass back. I waited till she went to work, and I took everything.
• And I mean everything, when she got home, her clothes were on the floor.
• Because I took the hangers. And when she went to use the toilet, guess what, that's right, I took the toilet paper too.
• And that's why I talk about her. She gotta crooked nipple. It's not on the front of her breast, it's off to the side.
• Don't trust a woman with a crooked nipple, cause they personality is just like that nipple. Crooked.
• And her crooked nipple didn't look like a regular nipple. It looked like a chicken McNugget.
• I remember, it'd be late at night, and I would try to suprise her, sexually.
• And I didn't wanna turn the light on and ruin the romance.
• But Fella's you know how sometimes you forget your wallet, or your car keys, well sometimes I would forget which nipple was the crooked one.
• And I'd be searchin for it, with my tongue and sometimes come up with a mouth full of deoderant.
• Wakin up the next mornin, lookin like a got milk commercial.
• Fuck that bitch, I know her secret.
• The secret is, she gotta crooked nipple.
• My next mistake was a girl I worked with at The Job.
• Never have a relationship with a woman at work. Especially when she is the best lookin girl at the job.
• Eveybody was tryin' to fuck her, every minute I wasn't around her.
• The best part of our relationship was the lunches she made me, for work.
• Everyone was jealous of me and my delicious lunches.
• Well she broke up with me, to date someone else at The Job.
• And it was fucked up, comin into work every day, and watch this other mutha fucka, eatin my Lunches.
• So that's why I talk about her, she got a hairy ass crack.
• I should have known it was hairy too, because when she walked, she drew static electricity and balloons would follw her ass where ever she went
• When she goes swimmin, it looks like plant life. I took her to, the lake one time and I saw them ass hairs swallow a guppie.
• What attracted me so much about her were her big breast.
• But when she took off her bra, they were really vienny.
• It look like she had two road maps on her chest. She had Thomas Guide titties.
• Only time I got lost, was when I stopped looking at her chest, on a road trip.
• And when I looked back at em, I was like "Damn, I should've taken a left at Alberque."
• What was crazy, was one of her titties was vienier than the other and it looked like her right titty was trying to read her left titties mind.
• It was like.....(Concentrating with two fist against the side of my head) is the number 7?
• I wrote a song about her, and it goes like this
• At first I was scared, I was petrafied. When I saw those butt hairs poking out the side.
• Of her underwear, they were growing from her crack, I said get on, go home and don't come back.
• I'm out the door, I don't wanna be haunted by your butt hairs anymore. And I left that scruffy, 5 oclock shadow, scandless, varment.
• I have a good woman now, she better never leave me or she's gonna be the next one I talk about.
• I love my girl, but when you live with a woman, they got rules and regulations.
• My girl is always tellin me, pee in the toilet not on the toilet.
• Pee in the toilet not around the toilet, can't you pee in the toilet, I can teach a dog how to pee in the toilet, why can't you?
• It's because women don't know what can happen in a man pissing situation.
• We could point our stuff, straight at the toilet, and get the shivers like a mutha fucka.
• And sometimes ladies, we could point our stuff right at the toilet. And that stream will shoot off to the right or the left.
• In that situation you got to switch. Sometimes I got my dick pointed at the door nob and it's goin in the toilet.
• And sometimes ladies, sometimes, two streams will shoot out that mutha fucka. That's double stream. You try getting two streams in the toilet.
• Women could piss durring an earthquake and not spill one drop.
• And I love my woman, but I will not sit and piss for any woman. I'll clean up with the toilet paper, and tha's as far as I'll go.
• I've been with her for 9 years, people are always askin when we're gonna tie the knot and I feel wierd about purposing.
• Because when you purpose, you gotta get down on one knee, and it's like your beggin, to smell her ass for the rest of your life.
• I wanna keep my pride so I'm thinkin' of takin the ring, tossing it into her lap and sayin' take it or leave it.
• It's because of women like Beyonce, singing lyrics, if you want it put a ring on it.
• Songs like that make me wanna write a song that goes, if you want it sign a prenump on it.
|Just Mikey||Host / Feature|
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The Comedians that have influenced me are Robin Harris and Greg Giraldo
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