A bridal shower is one of the major milestones during engagement season; it’s a time to celebrate the bride and “shower” her with well wishes and gifts before the wedding day. But with so many wedding events leading up to the big day, it can be difficult to know who is responsible for what.
If you’re wondering who throws the bridal shower, and thinking it might be you, or just willing to help, you’re in the right place. Here we’ll discuss not only who throws the bridal shower, but also how to throw it! So keep reading.
Who should host the shower?
Etiquette suggests that the maid of honor, bridesmaids, or relatives, such as an aunt or cousin, host the bridal shower. However, this isn’t a hard and fast rule.
According to legend, the first bridal shower was put together by the bride’s entire town. Today, it’s still not uncommon for anyone in the bride and groom’s close circle to host. For instance, close family friends of the bride or the groom’s parents may take on hosting duties as well.
Common bridal shower hosts include:
- Maid of Honor
- Bridesmaids
- Sisters of the bride
- Aunts
- Cousins
- Close family friends
If multiple people offer to throw the shower, you can ask them to join forces, or consider breaking up your invitations into several smaller guest lists and having multiple, more intimate showers. A sister or relative can host an event for the family while your maid of honor or a bridesmaid hosts one for friends. A friends-only shower could also be combined with the bachelorette party if needed.
Keep in mind, if you’re the bride, you can always graciously decline anyone’s offer to host as well.
Who should be excused from hosting?
While almost anyone can throw the bridal shower, the mother of the bride or groom shouldn’t take on this task. For one, they are already bearing the cost of the wedding, wedding rehearsal, and more. In addition to this, some see it as a way of the family asking for gifts.
Regardless of who throws the bridal shower according to tradition, anyone can offer to host or help out simply because they want to support the couple in this way. It is, however, respectful of both the couple and their families to let the maid of honor and bridesmaids or close relatives have first priority to host the shower if they’d like.
What is the bride’s role?
When it comes to her bridal shower, the bride is the guest of honor. That means she shouldn’t have any major responsibilities in the planning or execution of the shower. Unless she wants them! Ultimately, it’s her day, and what she says goes.
Before the party planning begins, sit down with the bride to determine her level of involvement. At the minimum, she needs to approve the party in the first place and the date of the shower. She should also have the final say in the guest list. From there, ask her if she’d like to weigh in on any other particulars, such as theme, decor, menu, or games. Games are particularly important because you don’t want to plan something the bride won’t be comfortable doing.
Who gets an invite?
The shower details will determine the final list of invites. If there are going to be multiple showers, just make sure the guest lists don’t overlap. You don’t want people to feel obligated to attend repeat celebrations or purchase more than one gift.
For the most part, unless a shower is specifically geared towards couples or is a coed shower, bridal shower tradition dictates that the event is a female-only affair, perhaps with a surprise guest appearance by the groom.
Who throws the bridal shower and what type of shower it is will dictate who attends. However, there are a few “rules” to abide by when it comes to crafting the guest list.
Immediate family members
Any female members of the immediate family of the bride or groom should receive a bridal shower invitation. This includes the bride’s mother, the groom’s mother, and any sisters and sisters-in-law of the bride and the groom. If you’re hosting, be sure to extend a shower invitation to these people, even if they are out-of-town or you know they won’t be able to attend.
Bridesmaids
It’s also good etiquette to invite members of the bridal party to all wedding events, including all showers. This mainly includes bridesmaids, but other members of the wedding party, such as friends who are helping out with the guest book or candle lighting should also get an invitation.
Friends and extended family
After the immediate family and bridal party, the rest of the guest list should be determined by the bride. Her list could include friends, extended family, family friends, or even co-workers. If the shower is a couple’s party, the wedding party and their significant others, as well as all immediate family members, should be invited in addition to anyone else the couple wants to have there.
Only wedding guests
It’s important that no one should be invited to the bridal shower that isn’t also invited to the wedding to avoid any potential hurt feelings or awkwardness. It can also seem like a tacky plea for gifts to invite people who don’t get to attend the wedding. This is another reason why the bride should have the final say in the guest list.
What goes into the planning?
Bridal shower planning may seem simple compared to wedding planning, but hosting a well-organized event on any scale requires thoughtful preparation and help. Just because someone is throwing the shower, doesn’t mean they need to be responsible for every detail of the day. This is one reason why it can be beneficial to have multiple hosts. Here are a few key components that are typically a part of every bridal shower. Consider assigning one or two to each host to divvy up the duties, or hire professionals to simplify the planning process.
Decorations
Setting a theme should be the first order of business. There are so many fun ideas for a bridal shower theme, whether it’s a traditional bridal shower or a modern bridal shower. The key is to select a theme that suits the bride’s personality, or the bride and groom’s relationship if it’s a couple’s shower. After you’ve chosen a theme, you can search for decorations to match. Think signage, linens, serving utensils, and florals, as well as a creative backdrop for photos.
The location you choose for your shower could also affect your decor decisions. For instance, hosting a backyard bridal shower will require different considerations than an indoor event. The size of the space will also play a part. Once you’ve picked your venue, start mapping out where certain activities will take place and design your decorations around that.
Food and drinks
Menu planning can sometimes be a stressful part of throwing a bridal shower, but it doesn’t have to be. This is another area where you can call in reinforcements! Have the hosts or members of the bridal party each bring a dish, drink, or dessert to serve. Or, if the budget allows, hire a caterer to handle the food for you.
Consider the time of the event when planning your menu. If the shower overlaps with a meal time, be prepared to offer more substantial food items, like appetizers, finger sandwiches, and salads. If the shower lands between meals, you can stick with more simple foods like fruits, dips, and charcuterie boards.
Of course, all bridal showers should include some delicious drinks and tasty treats. Tea and cocktails are popular beverage choices, and you can’t go wrong with any sweets. Cupcakes and cookies decorated to match the shower theme are sure to be a hit. You could even bring in a full candy & dessert buffet!
Gifts
Some bridal showers may opt to take gifts home to open privately, but many will want to open them at the party. Allocate a good portion of time towards the end of the event for this. Assign someone to hand out gifts and collect wrappings. Someone else should also write down each shower gift and who gave it so the bride can send thank you cards afterward.
When hosting a lingerie shower, opening gifts can also turn into a fun bridal shower game, where the bride has to guess who gave the gift. Keep the guest list in mind, though, if you plan to put the bride’s intimates on display!
It can be easy to get caught up in planning the perfect shower and forget to purchase a gift. Be sure to shop the wedding registry and pick out your own bridal shower gift before the event.
Entertainment
Entertainment at a bridal shower can come in many forms. Typically, this means a few shower games, such as the newlywed game or love-themed trivia, but it can mean activities too. Depending on the bridal shower venue, theme, and the number of guests, there are a couple of cool ideas you can try!
- Hire a mobile spa to pamper the bride and her closest friends.
- Let creativity flow with a fun painting party themed around the bride’s interests.
- Host a “garden party” and plant herbs or flowers in the bride’s yard, or in small pails to take home.
- Gather the ladies in their finest attire and spill the tea with a Bridgerton-themed tea party.
Whether you go with games or activities, or a combination of the two, planning a little something for the guests to do will ensure everyone is entertained.
Knowing who should throw the bridal shower is the first step to kicking off those wedding festivities! And with a bit of background on etiquette and attention to the guest list (plus a few helpful planning tips), your bridal shower can go off without a hitch.
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Heather is the Content Manager and a GigSalad veteran of 15+ years. She loves helping event planners create unforgettable celebrations and talent make a living doing what they love. When not at work, she enjoys reading romance and fantasy books, bingeing TV shows, playing board games, and spending time with friends.